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Accountability Is Disappearing From The Workplace. How Can You Improve?

When I was a young boy I made a monumental mistake.

My rebellious friends and I had managed to swipe a big box of matches. We headed down to the makeshift BMX ramps in the nearby pine forest that surrounded our suburb. It wasn’t long before we figured out that, with a simple hold and flick, we could shoot matches at each other. 

Who would have thought that hundreds of flaming matches in combination with a dry and arid Australian bushland would be a recipe for disaster? 

It didn’t take long before we started a small brush fire. We tried to stop the spreading flames by taking off our T-shirts and smothering the flames. With a little bit of luck and some lateral wind, we won the battle and went home. 

Hours passed uneventfully. Then there came a knock at the door. One of my friends stood on the stoop next to his dad. My heart practically stopped. 

My friend’s dad filled my dad in on what had happened. With every word that passed, my father’s rage grew as fast as that brushfire. After they had left, he turned to me and said one simple and entirely unexpected thing:

“Where was your self-discipline?”

Now, courtesy of one of the most disciplined men I know, I pose that same question to you.

Where is Our Self-Discipline?

Society has evolved rapidly, with the last ten years alone spawning huge innovations in technology, population expansion, globalization, and leadership. And yet in other, more subtle ways, we have regressed. It has become more acceptable to withdraw from accountability. Truth has slowly been replaced with whatever makes us comfortable. We’ve stopped telling people what they need to hear in favor of what will make them happy. We make excuses for people’s bad behavior in order to avoid difficult conversations. As a result, many people feel disconnected, even irrelevant, from those around them.

Our minds are often geared to resist change, whether out of laziness, risk avoidance, or fear. To combat this resistance requires finding a purpose, such as serving others. But without the will to act, people remain in a state of limbo. They have a lot of ideas but rarely have the calloused knuckles of a person who does the work to make them a reality. To borrow a phrase, they are all talk and no action. 

Recognizing this and finding the will to change is the start of how to improve self-discipline.

The Art of Doing What’s Necessary–Whether You Want to Or Not

If we do not discipline ourselves, the world will do it for us.

-William Feather

During my military career, I met some of the most disciplined people in the world. They would stop at nothing to achieve the goals required for their individual and team success. If they were scared, they bit their lip and did it anyway. If they were underperforming, they trained harder. If they were hurt, they found another way to contribute. If they did not figure out how to improve their own self-discipline, you can bet their superiors would do it for them.

In civilian life, you don’t have a commanding officer or a unit of other soldiers that will hold you accountable. If you do not follow through on the tasks you set for yourself, it will be your own loss. Therefore, you have to be responsible for how you improve your self-discipline on your own.

How to Improve Your Self-Discipline in Three (Not So Easy) Steps

Perform An Honest Self-Evaluation

If you struggle with how to improve your self-discipline, start by asking yourself the following questions:

  1. Do you only do things when influenced by others?
  2. Do you understand your purpose? Does it influence your daily activities and behaviors?
  3. Do you routinely blame external influences or people for your failures?
  4. Do you judge other people on their lack of performance? Do you judge your own lack of performance on the same scale?
  5. Are you unhealthy in body and mind?
  6. Are you lazy?

If you can’t answer any of these questions, or if the answer you give is unfavorable, then you need to examine further:

  1. Why are you in this unfavorable circumstance? More specifically, what was your role in the events that brought you to this point?
  2. Do you have the ability and the interest in taking the necessary steps to change it?

It’s not easy, but if you’re really struggling, this is how to jumpstart your improved self-discipline.

Get Used to Accountability

Think about the New Year’s resolution you made. Did you follow through on your goal or not? If not, did you take responsibility for that decision? 

It is not someone else’s responsibility to fix your job, your finances, your relationships, or your life. If you want to improve your self-discipline, you must own your behavior, your attitude, and your results. When you make a mistake or do something wrong, you must accept responsibility without making excuses or redirecting the blame.

Be Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Regardless of what we might want, life is never going to be easy. Our existence plays out in an environment full of chaos, uncertainty, and friction. By placing our fate in the hands of that environment, we surrender control of our own futures.

Most people avoid discomfort like the plague. But if you’re looking for how to improve self-discipline, it’s time to start seeking it out. The more uncomfortable, the better. Eventually, you will have spent so much time feeling uncomfortable that it will become familiar. Then you will be able to make choices that can significantly improve your life and circumstances, no matter how untenable they once seemed. 

This doesn’t mean you have to jump into a snake pit, proverbial or otherwise. Instead, commit to doing something small that you’ve been avoiding (a phone call, an errand, etc) and get it done. Tomorrow, do something slightly bigger, and so on. This is how you improve self-discipline–by forcing yourself to confront the most tedious or unpleasant items on your to-do list and finish them. You have a lot more control over yourself and your future than you think.

In Conclusion

If you’re seriously looking for how to improve your self-discipline, start by accepting accountability for your actions. Identify behaviors that are counter-productive and stop them. Surround yourself with people that are also on a journey of betterment, but don’t rely on them to do the work for you.

If you want to commit to sustained, long-term success,  I say:

Ad Meliora – Onwards to better things.

As a place to start, you might consider enrolling in the 8-week online leadership training course from The Eighth Mile Consulting. Your self-disciple will be tested with four self-paced modules, plus regular interactive virtual workshops and individualized coaching to keep you accountable. Check out the course description or contact us for more information.

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3 Things Anyone Considering Individual Coaching Should Do First

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know that the articles here tend to focus on leadership, group dynamics, projects, resilience, and communication. This article is different. Instead of focusing on the team dynamic, we will shift our attention to the individual–specifically, to those who feel as if life is holding their heads underwater.

Recently there has been an incredible influx of people seeking our help and assistance in the form of individual coaching. In most cases, they have been triggered by a LinkedIn post, podcast, or article that has pointed out a deficit or dissatisfaction they have. The most common complaints we receive involve at least one of the following:

  • A lack of direction
  • An inability to maintain meaningful relationships
  • Frustration in determining what one’s priorities consist of
  • A subtle but consistent straying from one’s values
  • Resilience refocusing

In nearly all cases, the individual believes they have exhausted their own ability to fix their problems. They are seeking an objective, external force to act as a circuit breaker for their dysfunctional thought processes. Thus, they turn to the concept of individual coaching.

But that move might be premature. In almost all instances, the person has been operating within a suite of assumptions and beliefs that are not serving them (or the people around them) well. Adjusting some of those thought processes first will lay the groundwork to make any future individual coaching even more fruitful.

Before You Begin Individual Coaching

Prior to enrolling in customized or individual coaching sessions, there are three concepts you should get comfortable with first. For some of you, these three ideas might be all you need to get yourself on the right track. For others, the structured guidance of individual coaching might still be needed.

1) Be of Service

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.

– Mahatma Ghandi

You may have heard this before, but it bears repeating: Life is not all about you.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that frowns upon criticism, promotes a scarcity mentality, and accepts ‘the blame game’ and fingerpointing instead of demanding accountability. What this amounts to is disconnection on a major scale. So many people are without direction because all their energy is invested in service of themselves.

If you want direction, the easiest place to start is by finding a worthy cause. If you want to cut off the internal rehashing of your own problems, invest that precious time towards solving someone else’s. They might even return the favor one day, which could provide that outsider’s perspective you’re looking for.

2)  Own Your Decisions. ALL of Them.

Life is the sum of all your choices.

– Albert Camus

Every situation demands choice, and each choice will result in a different outcome. In some cases, our choices might include a decisive action (take a new job or not, stay in a team or not, go left or right). 

In other cases, though we might not have control over the action, we can still choose to reframe how we view it. 

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

– Viktor Frankl

 

The moment we feel we are without choices is the moment we become truly powerless. But that’s the thing: no matter what the situation, we are never without a choice. You always have with you the tools that need to claim your power. 

Ironically, this can be a somewhat scary proposition. It means that you are where you are because of your previous choices, and where you go depends on what choices you make from here. If you have power over every choice, whether active or reactive, then you, and you alone, bear the responsibility for their results.

3) Prepare to Sacrifice

The price of excellence is discipline. The cost of mediocrity is disappointment.

– William Arthur Ward

If you want to effect significant change in your life, you need to be willing to invest significantly in the outcome. Whether that is time, money, energy, or vulnerability, this investment will take commitment. 

Do not be lazy when it comes time to do the hard work. To make your self-improvement a priority, you will likely have to move other things down the to-do list. You might also have to endure some unpleasant things, such as:

  • Physically or emotionally stressful circumstances
  • Removing toxic people from your life
  • Learning new skills
  • Spending money on personal development (such as individual coaching)
  • Disappointing people if you determine certain projects are no longer in line with your priorities
  • Committing to late nights and early mornings
  • Being honest with others so that they might help you out of your rut

Whatever is needed or required for you to refocus your life, you are the one behind the wheel. Will you take the smooth, easy road, or will you venture into untraveled terrain? In other words, what comforts are you willing to give up in order to get where you want to go?

Next Steps: Individual Coaching with The Eighth Mile 

The areas of service, choice, and sacrifice can and should be custom-fitted to each person’s circumstances. However, based on our experience at The Eighth Mile, adopting a mentality geared toward service and accountability is a proven step in the right direction. 

If you feel you still need assistance in the form of individual coaching, please reach out to us and we will be happy to discuss your circumstances further. Other areas that often require attention include: 

  • Letting go of resentment 
  • Priority and goal-setting
  • Building rapport with others 
  • Communicating with empathy
  • Leadership skills 

If you want a training experience that mirrors the classroom but can still be conducted on your own schedule, then you may benefit from our 8-week online leadership training course, which includes several individual coaching sessions in addition to training modules and virtual workshops.

Whatever path you take from here, remember that no matter what the situation, you are never powerless. Whether through action or reaction, the choice is always yours to make.

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Women in Leadership

 

The Eighth Mile Consulting holds true to a mantra of Good People Helping Good People. For this very reason, we chose to run this webinar in support of Women in Leadership, aiming to provide guidance for some of the challenges that women face when seeking to promote themselves up the ladder of their chosen career. We believe in equality and inclusive workplaces. Here we interview Anita Cavanough and Allanna Kelsall, two distinguished women in their fields, for their advice and experience.

Creating equality for all

As a community, we need to work together to make diversity within our workplaces the rule, rather than the exception. Barack Obama’s speech at the Women Summit taught us what modern feminism can look and feel like. 

We can all contribute to this growth and continue the positive change that we are seeing. Standing up and challenging the status quo requires both tact and strategy. We discuss setting your stage for success and getting the balance right with our own unrelenting high-performance standards. Often this requires managing up, which is another topic we have covered in a previous webinar, that you can find here. 

Sometimes it is our own limiting beliefs and fears that hold us back, is the “coach and the critic” on your shoulder helping or hindering your leadership ambitions? The Eighth Mile Consulting has built an online course dedicated to providing assistance for those wanting to develop their leadership skills, enhance their opportunities for career progression and live to their own full potential. 

Is your organisation focused on supporting women in leadership? 

Important points to remember 

  1. Take risks and back yourself! 
  2. Speak up with your creative ideas. 
  3. Keep a highlight reel, noting all of your achievements and share it with your advocates. 
  4. Build alliances and promote each other, know your allies, these can come from both sides of the gender fence. 
  5. Be yourself, authenticity and lightness can go a long way. 

For more helpful videos to feed your mind and develop yourself professionally subscribe to our YouTube channel.

What goals do you have for yourself and your career?

How are you investing in your own professional development to achieve these goals?

Let us know in the comments below!

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Leadership Lessons – From a 22yo Nobody

I left school at 18 years of age and joined the Australian Army where I undertook 4 years of tertiary and leadership training with the Australian Defence Force Academy and the Royal Military College Duntroon. Most of what I learnt in that time was structured academic education about leadership, management and tactics. I then graduated into the Royal Australian Infantry Corps and was posted to a Battalion in Darwin with a couple of my good mates.

After a very short time out of the College, I was informed that I would be deploying to Afghanistan in a combat capacity as part of Mentoring Task Force II. It meant that I would be responsible for a Platoon of soldiers (24 in total) for the duration of a 10-month deployment. The deployment would prove to be a crash course in leadership and growing up. Basic mistakes would result in death or injury and would likely have implications on an overall strategic campaign that influenced nearly 50 countries.

I thought I would take the opportunity to compile a list of lessons I learnt from the experience now that I am blessed with the benefit of hindsight. Hopefully, it helps someone out there.

Lesson 1 – Leading is not about you

When I left the Military College, I was incredibly self-focused and concerned, as I think most of the newly graduating officers were. My pursuit for excellence was largely overshadowed by a need to win, have a strong career and be accepted by my peers.

Afghanistan taught me very quickly about the importance of servant leadership. People were not interested in a leader that was career-focused. They needed a leader that:

  1. Could voice their concerns in forums where they were not represented.
  2. Could listen to different points of view and find patterns or links which could be formed into a robust plan in a short time.
  3. Was genuinely interested in their safety and getting them back home to their families and friends.
  4. Took an interest in them as individuals and not just an employee.

As my career progressed, I learnt that the more I protected my staff, peers and supervisors and represented their interests, the more plans started to work, and less time was needed to coordinate them. I was also able to work around red tape by leveraging off enduring relationships and loyalties.

Most importantly, I learned that a leader has to find their own style quickly. Copying other leaders doesn’t work, it wastes time, and presents as disingenuous. Furthermore, the world doesn’t revolve around you or your preconceptions of the world. It’s going to tick along if you are there or not, so go and make a positive legacy.

Lesson 2 – Don’t assume you know a person

I left the Military College as an easily influenced, right-wing, caucasian with very limited life experience. In a very short time, my platoon and I was dragged from the protective environment of Australia and spat into one of the most dangerous valleys in the world.

In doing so, this is what I learnt:

1. People are not their behaviour

Some Afghani’s and Pakistani’s that I met in my journey would educate me, by explaining that some of them were not fighting due to hate, ideology, or cultural difference but instead were fighting due to economic pressure, an attempt to save their family, or in order to protect what little resources they had left. I had falsely assumed that they were all out to kill me, and if given the first chance would undoubtedly enact a vicious plan against us. My preconceptions were proven wrong one night when I was in desperate need of help removing bodies from a drowned vehicle and a large number of Afghani ‘fighting age males’ offered me help when I needed it the most, and I was at my most vulnerable. Lesson learnt.

2. The most unsuspecting people are often the most impressive

I had soldiers that were far more educated and intelligent than myself and it took me a long time to find out how we could utilise it. In one such example, I had made a decision that had resulted in the drowning of a Bushmaster Vehicle because of a botched water crossing. This was acceptable tactically at the time as we had risk mitigated against some of the implications but unfortunately had resulted in my team being stuck on the wrong side of a very large water obstacle. Luckily for the team, I had a low ranked private soldier who knew about engines due to his background as a country farmhand. I made the deliberate choice of giving him hands-on control of the operation to recover the vehicle, and then subsequently coordinate the river crossing back to the safe side of the river. With the benefit of hindsight, I can say confidently that he handled the situation better than I could have, and the trust I placed in him to manage the issue was well invested.

Lesson 3 – Risk Management matters, but so does finding opportunities 

I left the college under the false belief that I was fit, fast and unstoppable. My analysis of risk was always skewed towards the capture of opportunity instead of risk mitigation. My approach to tactics was generally aggressive, opportunistic and decisive in nature. I have subsequently learnt that significant changes occur to people’s bodies in their early 20’s which significantly affect their brain. In short, the chemicals that were pumping throughout my body were the same ones that would subtly influence my decision making throughout the tour. They encouraged me to take chances where otherwise I would not have.

In recent years, I have fathered two beautiful children with my lovely wife and the thought of me accepting risks like the ones I undertook in Afghanistan seem laughable. Simply put, I have more to lose now, and hold responsibilities to others.

These days I think I have a reasonably well-balanced view of risk vs opportunity. I understand the importance of identifying and acknowledging risks and opportunities early and determining how palatable a risk appetite is for an organisation. For example, some industries like Software as a Service (SaaS) have incredibly high-risk profiles, as compared to aged care which is quite low. Knowing this helps shape plans, approaches and strategies that suit the context of that organisation.

Lesson 4 – Find the positives in everything

Sometimes it can be really hard to find positive outcomes in the grind of daily activities, but they are there. It is the leader’s job to find them when no one else can see them.

On 02 February 2011, we lost a very close friend of ours called Corporal Richard Atkinson. Richard was a Combat Engineer whose specialisation was finding explosive traps that were regularly buried in the ground by the Taliban. Unfortunately, on this particular day, one of the explosives detonated and killed Richard and injured another engineer. I had listened to the event occur over the radio some 20km away and was with my team a short time after. Not surprisingly the event had crushed the team’s morale and my own. I knew deep down that we were half the way through a long tour, and we had to get back on to our A-game very quickly, or else might lose another person.

My Sergeant and I developed a unified approach. We would focus on the positives we could find. In this case, we hadn’t lost more members of the team despite a strong chance of it occurring – we used this as a means of motivation to undermine the effectiveness of the Taliban attack. Secondly, we decided to refocus our team’s energy towards coming up with the plan for our next attack on the Taliban, which we did. Our next patrol would be one of the most effective of the tour as it was reinforced by an unwavering commitment to deliver harm to the people that had cost us so much. This refocus ultimately kept my team safe and alert for the remainder of the trip.

Summary

My afghan experience taught me a great deal about life and leadership. I am hoping that by documenting some of these lessons, others might not have to re-learn them.

I like to think that I have taken many of these lessons into my current role as an owner of The Eighth Mile Consulting. These lessons continue to be transferable to the business world.

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