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This is the fourth of a four-part series on the role of values, beliefs, attitudes, and behavior in leadership. 

If you are already asking yourself “how do I change my behavior,” then you have already decided your behavior needs to change. For some behaviors, that is obvious. If you’re late all the time, for example, you should probably take steps to correct that.

When it comes to how a leader behaves, however, the decision about what behavior does and doesn’t need to change is not as simple. If you were to ask ten people in your company whether you dress too casually or uphold rules too strictly, you will likely get ten different answers. That’s because every manager is different, as is every management situation. As you will see from this article, the answer to the question “How should leaders behave?” is, as is often the case, dependent on you, your leadership style, and your team.

What Good Leaders Have in Common

Before you can unleash your individual style as a leader there are some fundamentals you need to cover. “Leader” is a profession with some prerequisites.

Drive

How leaders should behave requires having and demonstrating drive. Internalize drive and many other shortcomings never have a chance to surface. You can’t have a problem being late if your drive pushes you to always be early. A leader decides and acts on the premise, “This will happen,” and has the drive to work toward that goal every day.

Expertise

An incompetent leader with drive quickly becomes either a hated taskmaster or the subject of ridicule. How a leader should behave if they are not qualified to be a teacher is, quite simply, to be a student. If you as a leader are honest about what you do not know, your team will likely respect you more for saying so than if you pretend to be an expert. Listen to your team to see where your level of expertise ranks among them, and raise your level of competence at every opportunity. If you’re learning, your team will notice over time.

Positive Attitude

The previous article in this series covers what it means for a leader to have a positive attitude. It doesn’t mean always looking on the bright side or constantly lifting your team’s spirit. In the context of how a leader should behave, a positive attitude means that you believe your team is capable of completing its goals and that you reinforce that belief at every opportunity. “Positive” doesn’t necessarily mean “happy”, but it does always mean “determined”.

Fairness

A fair leader inspires the team. An unfair leader at best divides, or at worst, alienates the team.

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Every Management Style Is Different

“How do I change my behavior?” is a dangerous question if you’ve already covered all the fundamentals. You must find a comfortable style or risk coming off as insincere. You may decide to borrow from leaders you admire, but your team will notice if you’re just imitating some other person. Be comfortable with yourself, and stay out of the Uncanny Valley.

Within the limit of your style, you must also adapt. When you find your balance, it will be your balance–one that is right for you and right for the job.

Consider the following areas and how you might handle them as a team leader.

Casual vs. Formal

This issue is fairly self-explanatory, but it might not be as simple as it first appears. For example, let’s say you’re leading a team of graphic artists or filmmakers, but you yourself do not have a creative background. How should a leader behave in this situation? Should you dress more artistically to fit in, or should you wear your normal business attire to clarify that you are not a creative professional? To put it another way: will your team appreciate your effort to fit in, or will they see it as trying too hard? Only you can know the answer.

Rule Enforcement

How tightly do you enforce rules? Be cognizant of which rules are absolute and which you should bend. Also, be aware of how well your natural style is meshing with your team’s expectations — and don’t break the law, whether or not compliance provokes eye-rolls from the team. How a leader should behave is to protect the team, even from itself.

Safety Consciousness

If you’re used to leading air traffic controllers, you might find transitioning to an outfit where safety hazards are largely abstract a bit difficult (such as lost work hours vs lost lives). How a leader should behave toward risk does depend on the situation. If you’re moving into a role with a hazard level that is vastly different from your last position, you may need to give yourself time to adapt.

Mission vs. People Oriented

While all leaders must be mission-oriented, how leaders behave also requires good people skills. Some teams respond better to people-oriented leaders, so you may need to strike a balance. If your team members resent “being managed” when they just want to get the job done, you might lean into the mission more and the people less. But if your team members need a little small talk in order to get going on their work, then you should do what you can to get it for them.

How Leaders Behave: Metrics for Management

If you’ve done the work and decided that the question “How do I change my behavior?” isn’t getting to the heart of your issue, then you may need to dig into some other metrics to determine how your leadership style fits with your team. You may need to adapt your style or adapt your team.

Are You the Carrot?

The clearest sign your leadership style is working is that your team’s primary incentive is to please you. You need neither sticks nor carrots. You are the carrot. Your team looks up to you and wants to please or impress you. This is your best-case scenario. However, beware there is nowhere to go but down, and you must mind your fundamentals to stay on top. How a leader behaves should ultimately be directed to this apex goal.

Balkanization

Has your team split into camps, some for you and some against? If you’re treating your team fairly, your style might naturally play team members off against each other, and not everyone responds positively to a competition. After a self-assessment, you might need to either change the personnel on your team or change your style.

Debbie Downer

Is one person responding poorly to your management style? What looks like Balkanization might be a much more personal problem. How a leader behaves in this situation is one-on-one and personal, but beware: your team will be watching. Your reputation is on the line. It might be wise to bring your team on-side and even solicit their help. In the end, it might be necessary to simply remove the disruptive downer from the team. The opinions of your team raise the stakes for how a leader behaves in this situation.

Conclusion

How a leader behaves has no easy answers; neither are the questions impossible. Separate your behaviors into style and fundamentals, don’t miss the fundamentals and use your metrics to uncover any mismatch of style. The Eighth Mile has a leadership training course to unlock the potential of your leadership style. Learn, and lead.

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As a leader, you are vital to the success of your organization. Between hiring and retaining great talent, fostering a culture of connection and belonging, and providing direction and encouragement, much of your responsibility revolves around helping your employees reach their full potential — without which success is impossible. Unfortunately, however, the reality of the global workforce paints a different picture: 79% of employees are disengaged in their jobs or lacking agency or ownership over their own decisions, resulting in a $7.8 trillion loss in productivity. The top reason for this disengagement? Lack of leadership training.

An SHRM study says 84% of employees claim that poorly trained managers are the reason for added work and stress. Their experience and, ultimately, their productivity is in your hands. Furthermore, 50% of employees in the SHRM study believe their performance would improve if their direct supervisor completed leadership training.

Leadership training is an accessible, affordable, and effective solution to strengthen your leadership skills and yield more robust results from your employees. Consider these top five reasons for leadership training and invest in yourself, your team, and your organization today.

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1) Discover Who You Are as a Leader

Many leaders rise to the responsibility out of tenure or a promotion from a non-managerial role. However, even with good intentions and invaluable skills, you may need to become more familiar and comfortable with your leadership style, affecting how you show up daily.

Believe it or not, it is possible to learn leadership. Leadership training will help you look inward to discover how your values, beliefs, and experiences influence your leadership style. Then you can discover how to leverage your unique style to unlock your team’s potential. Now is your time to shine as a leader within and beyond your current role.

2) Learn New Solutions to Existing Problems

Between the Great Resignation, the ongoing pandemic, and recession uncertainty, today’s socioeconomic landscape is full of unprecedented challenges for leaders. The competitive labor market, social and political disruption, increases in the cost of living, focus on employee well-being, and flexible working environments are all testing the ability to find and retain great talent. As a leader, you must face these challenges head-on. You’ve tried to solve them a hundred times in a hundred ways, but nothing seems to be budging.

While the problems are familiar, their solutions are not. Finding ways to overcome them requires new approaches. Leadership training allows you to take a step back and gain new perspectives and ideas you never knew were possible. Take your learning a step further and apply it to real-life situations.

3) Improve Your Communication Skills

Simply put, effective leadership requires effective communication. Trade Press Services reports that 85% of employees are most motivated by effective internal communications, including regular company updates, vision and goals, and clear job descriptions. However, 69% of managers feel discomfort in communicating with their employees.

As a leader, you’re responsible for ensuring an open and transparent two-way flow of communication built on trust and accountability. The shift to an increasingly remote environment has introduced new communication demands. What used to be a quick and convenient conversation at the water cooler now requires a more concerted effort.

Even if this soft skill comes naturally to you, there is always room for improvement. Leadership training can help you identify and strengthen your communication skills, including verbal to nonverbal, active listening, and feedback, all of which foster greater collaboration, engagement, and agency among your team.

4) Elevate Your Empathy

Leading with empathy, or the ability to be aware of and understand the needs, feelings, and thoughts of others, is another soft skill that directly impacts business results. In fact, some claim it’s the most necessary leadership skill of all. Being empathetic means seeing others as exactly who they are, the whole person, rather than only the employee. A Forbes study revealed that 76% of people who received empathy from their leaders reported they were engaged, compared to 32% engagement of those who received less empathy.

Making your employees feel genuinely seen and valued will help motivate and inspire them to do their best work. Leadership training can guide you in this area, especially if you’re someone for whom this inclination does not come naturally. And especially given the increasing demands of today’s workforce, empathy will continue to play a critical and direct role in the success of any business.

5) Strengthen Team Culture

Engagement in the workplace is far more than meeting your tangible job expectations. It’s about feelings of genuine connection and belonging. Organizational values, work-life balance, growth opportunities, and recognition are all important aspects of culture that play into connection and belonging. As you have probably guessed, you as a leader are hugely influential in cultivating that culture.

When your organization invests in leadership training, it not only sends the message to employees that leadership cares about their well-being, it proves it. It puts money where your mouth is and is the first step to improving organization-wide issues. In addition, the benefits from the training ripple into other parts of the organization, enhancing overall team culture and, subsequently, business value.

Begin Your Leadership Training With The Eighth Mile

Anyone can become a leader. Becoming an effective one, however, takes time and intention. And before you can unlock your team’s potential, you need to unlock your own. Whether you’re a new or seasoned leader, there has never been a better time to enroll in leadership training. It all starts with one step. Elevate your leadership with Eight Mile Consulting’s 8-week online personal development and leadership course. Invest in yourself, because you’re worth it–and so are your employees.

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Team building, motivation, workplace culture, and telling uncomfortable truths are the benefits of well-crafted workplace comedy. The manager who understands it builds resilient teams with confidence in their leader. The manager who doesn’t will be resented as a scold and — worse — leave teams brittle and unable to endure challenges. Workplace comedy invariably offends someone. A wise manager must balance the risk of offense against the necessity of comedy in the workplace.

Every Court Needs a Jester

The term “jester” is derived from the Anglo-Norman (Old French) words gestour or jestour, meaning storyteller or minstrel. Over time, the role of this entertainer became far more vital than mere entertainment: The jester could tell the truth that could not otherwise be told. Who could tell the king he had lost a battle? Who could declare taxes were too high or confidence in military leadership too low? This guy — unless an unwise king ordered his hapless jester beheaded.
To the wise business manager, comedy in the workplace serves the very same function — with the same caveat.

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A Jester Beheaded

When I was a new Lieutenant, I had a soldier in my platoon I’ll call “Steve.” Steve was an experienced troublemaker with a natural charismatic aura. The other soldiers respected and looked up to him, and he in turn asserted himself socially as their representative. The secret of his success was perfectly timed and executed comedy.

Gaining Insight

Steve had the rare ability to point out the elephant in the room, the thing no one else wanted to acknowledge or address. With surgical precision, he would crack a joke that would draw attention to the forbidden and make his teammates laugh it off.
What turned this comedian into a leader was how he shaped and targeted his humor to hit everyone equally but fairly. His jokes were pointed but never mean, his demeanor was always friendly, he didn’t hold back because of rank, and his jokes always contained an element of truth. As a result, his leaders found him as valuable as his teammates, and no one felt unfairly treated. To a wise manager, he was a walking informal complaints department who provided an unofficial way to deal with problems before they became official.

Losing Perspective

To my regret, however, during a period of weakness brought on by too little sleep and too much responsibility, I lashed out at Steve when he was doing no worse than just being Steve. The result of this lapse in judgment was a break in rapport, who abruptly retreated into his metaphorical shell. I had beheaded the jester.
Suddenly, I was blinded to the needs and feelings of my men. The section commanders did an adequate job of allaying the soldiers’ concerns, but even the best section commander is somewhat detached due to rank and hierarchy. Comedy in the workplace was my back channel, and now it was gone.
Luckily, after some time had passed, Steve regained his confidence, thus restoring the team dynamic of my platoon. Once again, he became a reliable source of information. And I learned a permanent lesson at a — thankfully — temporary cost.

Gaining Perspective

In essence, the Jester is and has always been the last line of defense in the battle for common sense. They have forever been the pressure tester of ideas and the illuminator of idiocy, hypocrisies, and inconsistencies. They identify social patterns and have the courage to communicate their observations. By their very nature, they are incredibly intelligent and observant.

Political Correctness Also Kills

During my time in the infantry, I noticed it was invariably the class clowns who bonded teams. Their jokes knew few limits, and no one was exempt. An officer who could take a joke on the chin and walk it off demonstrated his strength of character and earned the respect of his team, who rightly expected he would demonstrate equal resilience in other, more challenging situations.
Conversely, how can you trust an officer with the lives of his men if he can’t even handle a joke? The teams with the best-developed comedy in the workplace were the ones who survived the greatest hardships, plain and simple. The leaders who were unable to value comedy in the workplace destroyed morale and fractured teams.

Private Sector Fun Police

When I transitioned from military officer to business management, widespread censorship hit me with the subtlety of a freight train. Even my top-secret work had never been this censorious. It was as if an unseen presence imposed an unspoken taboo that to give offense was the gravest of crimes, forbidden under any circumstances. Even a hint of workplace comedy earned the would-be jester an interrogation by the Fun Police — uptight managers who kept the workplace on edge and the workers wound tight.

Is Offense Subjective?

What is okay for one person might be highly offensive to someone else. As such, it is impossible to uphold a policy of “never offend anyone, and yet many workplaces accept that as the preferred mode of operation. Have they never learned that comedy in the workplace is the key to getting through tough times? Have they never experienced “tough times”? Perhaps Gabrielle Union was right:
“Drama can feel like therapy whereas comedy feels like there’s been a pressure and a weight lifted off of you.”
I’d seen brittleness turn to failure before, and I knew what it took to endure hardship: a sense of humor — some comedy in the workplace.

Conformity By Exhaustion

Nevertheless, the censorship was there, always pressing down. The best practices I’d learned in the field prompted “correction” so often that I, too, began to conform. Slowly, the humor drained from the workplace, and with it the insight it brought. Looking back, I see how avoiding humor translated into avoiding problems by not addressing them.
I finally realized how I’d let myself down when, at a leadership conference, I answered the question, “What do you think is the most important function of a leader?” Drawing from my own experience as a leader, I said, “Good leaders are those who can articulate and contextualize the truth.” At that moment, I realized I wasn’t living up to my own leadership standards.
Political correctness also kills. No leadership, no jester. No jester, no truth.

Offense Taken, Not Given

Though modernity may have killed the fearless jester, comedy in the workplace need not follow. Applying balance to what is acceptable (while taking subjectivity into account) is how good managers must confront the challenge. To address this balance, I’ve developed three principles:
  1. Bullying vs Banter. Banter is good-natured. Bullying intends to harm. The difference is in the intent. A wise manager divines the intent before addressing a conflict.
  2. Problem vs Person. A good jester can delineate between the problem and the person responsible, and target their joke appropriately. Subtle changes in language can mean the difference between constructive criticism and personal attack. The most proficient jester can talk about the elephant in the room and leave out the person behind the pachyderm.
  3. “Time and Place” vs. “In Your Face.” There’s a time for jokes and banter, and there’s a time for seriousness and decorum. A good jester needs to read the room, and a good manager needs to provide guidance on how to do that.
Ultimately, to fear the jester is to fear the truth. To kill the jester is to sail in willful blindness toward whatever peril might be lurking before you. Are people going to take offense? Of course. Will you allow them to destroy morale and turn your teams into fearful, wounded wrecks? Not if you want to weather the storms that inevitably lie ahead.

Comedy in the Workplace and Learning Leadership

To conclude, be mindful when silencing your jesters, particularly if they might be telling you something you need to hear. If you have a jester in your team or organization, be grateful — and careful. Too much offense might ultimately expose you to legal liability, sure. But if you behead the jester who provides truth and common sense, you may not see key issues in your team until it’s too late. Wise managers must nurture healthy, resilient, and capable teams. There’s no better way to do that than by introducing a little comedy in the workplace.

Workplace comedy is serious business — and we’re brave enough to say it. The Eighth Mile offers an 8-week leadership course where we share all the important lessons (and some hard truths) we’ve learned from our experiences as leaders. View the course page to see if this program might be a good fit for your career journey.

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Reach out to the team to book a consult.